Boundaries: "YES" OR "NO"?

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Boundaries: "YES" OR "NO"?


In a general sense of the word, boundaries demarcate a space within which you feel like you belong. Such belongingness also brings a nest of safety we can nuzzle into whenever needed.

It holds true for a small group, a community, and ourselves. Individuals build boundaries for themselves to take control over their own lives and build limitations, first, to establish their identity and, second, to protect themselves.

Even though "boundary" appears to be a limiting term, establishing them offers us a sense of freedom. Setting boundaries is necessary to allow yourself a separate space to not wade into the next one.

It may look like keeping yourself out of certain situations, keeping other people out of the situations in your life completely, or demarcating the capacity for people to enter your space.

Why boundaries?  

Many people put so much effort into being kind and selfless that they lose sight of their limitations. Because of this, having the capacity to establish firm limits is crucial to leading a healthy, balanced existence.

A boundary is a line drawn on our property designating what belongs to us. Our identities are shaped by boundaries.

Is setting up boundaries easy?  

One may say that setting boundaries with strangers is an easy task.

On the other hand, it is especially difficult to set boundaries with people who step in and out of your space daily, like family, close friends, and romantic partners.

Not just that, blurring and preceding the demarcated lines are much more common in these relationships for one reason, that is, we do not wish to hurt our loved ones.

Healthy boundaries  

It is important to note that boundaries or being an individual are not viewed as dangers to the connection in relationships with good boundaries.

Understanding and fulfilling relationships involve acceptance of the said boundaries and the need for the other person to take time and space out for their well-being.

The degree of uniqueness and belonging is also adjustable and evolves over time in partnerships that have suitable boundaries.

A good relationship may adjust by reducing individualism and increasing time spent together when a spouse or family member is unwell. When one spouse is under pressure at work, a strong relationship might provide them more room to do their tasks. The critical thing to remember is that these connections will alter once the sick person gets better or when there is less work.

When to choose "yes" instead of "No"?  

By saying no, you are setting boundaries. But it also requires saying yes, as The Science of Family Systems Theory author Jacob B. Priest emphasizes. "Yes" to connections and respect in relationships.

Over time, saying "No" can become easy, and one can fall into a rut of not allowing people into their lives. This can often mean a threat to your well-being as the much-needed support for our wellness can be lacking or even absent.

That is why it is essential to know when to say "Yes" or allow yourself to alter the boundary for your comfort and welfare.


Setting up boundaries to protect ourselves from possibly harmful situations and people is an important aspect of safeguarding our overall wellness. This can mean saying a simple “No”, but it is important to recognise and allow the people and situations which benefit and even enrich your existence. Thus, altering boundaries can also help. It is important to note that healthy boundaries are an important part of enriching relationships and respecting one-another’s boundaries is also equally significant.

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