You have a group of friends and everyone chooses to be mad at someone specific and that person is ostracized from your group. You say mean things, you make them feel left out on purpose, you see them coming and make it a point to show them that you’re ignoring them. A week or so later you all become friends again and take on somebody else or that person may forever be the one that you or everyone targets all time. This is the starting point of bullying. Further it leads to emotional, physical and other kinds of abuse. It can scar a person for life and lead to irreversible psychological damage.
Ways people bully are name-calling, saying/writing nasty things about another, making them feel left out of activities on purpose for malicious reasons, making a noticeable point to not talk to them, making someone feel uncomfortable or scared, taking/damaging their belongings, making people do something they don’t want to do. Hitting, kicking, knocking things out of one’s hands, pushing, shoving, etc. are also bullying.
There are a lot of reasons why someone bullies. They may see it as a way to be in control when many things in their world are spiraling out of control. Others may bully because they feel it makes them popular or they think others find it funny and they are trying to entertain. Some bullies bully because that’s the only way they can get attention. It could also be because they are jealous of the person they’re bullying. They may be getting bullied themselves and so they bully others that they perceive as weaker. Some bullies don’t even understand that they’re bullying or how the person they bully truly feels.
Keep in mind that bullies are people just like you; they eat, sleep, and live the same way. You don't bully people, so that's the main difference. Bullies behave in this way because they don't receive the same level of parental love and care that you do. They bully because they feel powerless and insecure.
What to do if you are being bullied:
-Do not fight back!
It can be hard, and some may tell you to fight back, but it’s never the answer. Tell them to Stop, be calm, tell an adult, do everything but do not fight back. If you give in to a bully and fight back, you may get in trouble instead of the bully! However, do not accept being bullied. Use the tactics mentioned below.
-If the bully tells you to stop calmly walk away
Believe it or not, this can be very effective. Practice with a friend, an adult, or with yourself in a mirror on things you can say. Practice saying it in a firm and direct way with confidence in your voice. Believing in yourself and telling others what you think can earn you respect and encourage others to stand up for themselves as well.
-Tell an adult
Many times we fear telling someone because we don’t want to look weak or feel embarrassed. It may be scary at first, but an adult can help stop bullying and make things better. If the person gets in trouble, that’s their problem because it was their fault for bullying. Not yours!
-Know it’s not your fault
No one deserves to be bullied ever! No matter what is going on in your life, being bullied is not your fault. Either try to stop it with the above tips or with the help of an adult. Don’t ignore the problem and hope it will go away. Bullies bully because they can. Make it so they can’t.
Bullies like upsetting people because it makes them feel powerful. Be in control so that the bully isn’t. Confidence and having good self-esteem will help, but even if you don’t feel that way at the moment, acting as you do will help. Others can’t tell how you’re feeling or what’s going on in your head unless you show them. Even faking confidence and acting like you aren’t afraid will help the situation, and maybe next time you won’t need to fake it. You may find that you’re pretty good at handling bullies and are able to help others when the bully finds their next victim.
We’re all in this together, let’s start acting like it. Always keep in mind, “If you don’t have anything nice to say to someone, then don’t say anything at all.” And remember the golden rule: “Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.”