Loneliness has had a constant existence in my life. I grew up a single child living with a working single mother. While I saw other children bringing their parents to school functions, I couldn’t experience the same. Staying at home with only myself and the four walls was too suffocating, so I found solace in my school friends. Being an extrovert, spending time with my friends brought me great joy. However, everything changed when we had to shift to a new place after completing my 12th grade. We were now living in an area that was too far from the earlier one; no one knew me there, and I had no friends.
That was also when the Covid-19 pandemic hit the world. I was compelled to stay at home, which I didn’t want to do at any cost. Those four walls of my room felt like jail to me. I tried to watch movies and shows like everyone else, but nothing brought me happiness. My mother provided me with everything that I could’ve wanted, but the materialistic things couldn’t fill the void inside me. My loneliness started to affect my mental and physical health.
I stopped taking care of myself at this point. I didn’t care about what I was wearing or eating or if my hair grew too long. I also developed a gaming addiction, where I played online games for over 14 hours a day. I started to compare myself with others, thinking they had it so much better than me, and also developed self-loathing behaviors. These negative thoughts slowly turned into depression. There was a time when I even thought of ending everything.
However, I realized that ending things wasn’t the solution. I decided to change my life for the better. I decided to take up a job to do something productive with my time. But that job being work-from-home, I knew that this wouldn’t solve my loneliness problem in the long run. As the world turned back to normal after the pandemic, I got determined to change my life. Starting with self-care, I started to put more effort into my appearance, what I was wearing and eating. I started going to the gym, which brought more discipline into my life, and I lost a lot of excess weight.
Leaving my work-from-home job, I took up an office job. Going out and interacting there with people has been a great learning experience for me. I’ve gotten a lot more confidence in my skills and abilities. Now that I work among people, I realize how much I have missed this connection with others. My mental health has also improved a lot from earlier.
So, to whoever might be feeling the same loneliness, I’d just like to say that it’s not going to last forever. It might seem hard at first, but you need to get out in the world and experience all its highs and lows. You need to get out of your comfort zone and do something productive with your time. It will definitely help you heal better.
Solh app is a safe space where we can share our struggles, confessions, and triumphs without judgment. At Solh Wellness, they understand that some things can be tough to share openly. But they're there for us, providing a compassionate community where we can seek support and healing. So, if you're going through a rough time, any personal struggle, remember that you're not alone. Reach out to others, speak up, and remember that there's strength in sharing our stories and supporting each other. Together, we can create a safer, more empathetic world.
~Ankit Bisht
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